Kambakkht Ishq Movie Review

BT Rating: (1/5)

Movie Review By Bhushan

Kambakht… yes, Ishq… was it, really?

Leave your brains at home and then watch this movie’… We’ve heard the tag line before haven’t we, during the spell where the David Dhavan – Govinda’s mind numbing comedies ruled the roost at box office.

With Kambakht Ishq (KI), Sabir Khan has tweaked the tag line somewhat grotesquely. While Dhavan and company wanted to ensure that you leave your wizened gray matter home before you hit the cinema hall, Khan would probably want you to doubly ensure, that when you drop by to watch KI, you should most definitely carry your crotch along.

If there’s any part of the physical anatomy KI is aimed at attracting… it’s the part just a few inches below your waist. We are sorry, if this sounds coarse, but we’ve just had our wits sand-papered by a Rs 50 crore sex-toy called KI.

Coming to the story (oh by the way, it took four writers to knead this gooey lump of sleaze together) Akshay (Viraj Shergill) is a popular Hollywood stuntman. You’ve seen Akshay play this guy before… ‘Hey Babyy’, ‘Garam Masala’, lusting for any piece flesh, that even remotely has no semblance to anything that looks South Asian.

The film shows you, how Akshay’s so jaded with his sexual white-skinned orgies, that he even forgets a woman in a bath tub, in between panning through the sets at legendary Hollywood’s Universal studio.

The scene however changes when Simrita Rai, (Kareena Kapoor) a man-hating stunner enters the scene. While she does look ravishing, Kareena however repeats her Pooh-ja act in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam, a hangover she has carried in several films that followed K3G.

Kareena’s a doc (who incidentally is paying her med fees by working as a part-time model, at least she isn’t playing a bar dancer, phew) who proves to be the proverbial Waterloo to Akshay’s unbridled masochism.

So after he calls her a bitch and she calls him a dog, when they they meet up at Aftab (Shivdasani) and Amrita’s (Arora) wedding and after a small ‘sharp’ twist to the tale, most of the film is about Akshay trying to woo her and about Kareena trying to retrieve something from Akshay’s bowels (we mean that).

If the plot made sense, there was a lot made about the infusion of Hollywood actors in the film. So you have Sylvester Stallone throwing in an appearance and then there’s Denise Richards, the former Bond babe and one time stunner, who made washing cars a visual treat in ‘Wild Things’ and of course legendary Hollywood actor Martin Sheen’s (Wall Street, Departed) former bahu.

With KI, what’s probably cruel is that despite this despicable fare shamelessly thrown at the audience by producer Sajid Nadiadwala and company, it will not hurt him much, cause this is only second big film after New York to hit big screen and there is a perceptible amount of hunger amongst the audience to gulp down whatever rolls down the silver screen nowadays.

Sure, Akshay, who has regaled us with his astonishing sense of comic timing and earthy humour needs a hit, after duds like Tashan and Chandni Chowk to China. From the bottom of the heart, as a reviewer, who’s had to endure this film, this really ought to ‘hit’ him right in the solar plexus.